By Richmond Natural Medicine

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September 10, 2018

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Fall is a season of change.  Colorful leaves emerge and then make their way back to earth.  It reminds us that every now and then, we need to take stock and work on letting go of the things that no longer serve us.

This sounds easy enough but can actually be quite challenging to execute.  Why is that?

It’s normal to want to hold onto behaviors, objects, or even people.  On one hand, this is about convenience.  The familiar is comfortable.  It requires little thought.  We reason that this way of thinking or this object has worked for me in the past so it must work for me now.  We may not even be sure why we continue this behavior, but continue to do so anyway, not taking the time to reevaluate and adjust as needed.

The other rationale stems from fear.  Fear around not having enough. This is not so much about greed or wanting more, but holding on to what we already have.  This scarcity mentality focuses on short-term benefits and gives us a false sense of comfort.

So where do we go from here?  To begin, we let go.  We let go of our thoughts, our old scripts, our expectations, and our judgment.  

NEGATIVE SELF TALK

”Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”  Brene Brown

Being a little self-critical can be beneficial, but once the self-talk turns negative, the effects can be damaging.  Sometimes we can be a real bully-to ourselves!  Where does the compassion, patience and understanding we show others go when we view ourselves?

When you find your self-talk becoming harsh and critical, ask yourself the following questions…

•      Is there validity to my negative thinking?
•      Is this negative self-talk motivating me to better myself?
•      Would anyone who cares about me ever say these negative things about me?
•      Is this type of self-talk serving me?

If you answer no to these statements, it is time to let go of the negative self-talk.  Make space for compliments, words of encouragement, and self-acceptance.  

OBJECTS

“It all depends on whether you have things, or they have you.” Robert A. Cook

It’s normal to collect objects over time.  Some are gifted, some are purchased, and some are created.  You may even hold a few special possessions near and dear to your heart due to their nostalgia.  Unfortunately though, keeping everything can become a hindrance in progressing forward.  When we cling to the past we become unavailable to the presen.

Take stock of your belongings.  Explore your closets, cabinets, garage, etc. and ask yourself the following:

•      Do I really need this item?
•      Do I really want it?
•      If it needs repaired or fixed, am I willing to spend the time and energy to do so?
•      Could it serve someone else better?
•      Does this object bring me joy?

Let your answers guide as to whether you should pitch, donate, or sell these objects.  You may find that releasing such objects allows you and your space to feel lighter and more open to new possibilities!

NEGATIVE HABITS

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”  Socrates

Sometimes we actively engage in negative habits even though we know they are bad for us.  Even after reaping the consequences, we rationalize and stubbornly cling to our old ways.  Then we beat ourselves up after the fact for not adhering to the desired new behavior.  This can become a frustrating cycle and can be harmful to ourselves and others.

When faced with a decision to act out a negative habit that you know no longer serves, try the following:

•     Pause and take a deep breath in and a deep breath out.  Take as many as you need to create enough space to give yourself the chance to CHOOSE how you want to respond.
•     Ask yourself WHY you are clinging to this negative behavior?
•     Is there a way to replace this negative habit with a positive one?
•     Can you imagine how good it will feel to know that you’ve shed this negative habit?

To break a bad habit, first commit to stopping the behavior by creating a plan, and develop self-discipline and self-awareness so that you can stay on track.

Also, choose the right approach for dealing with it, reward yourself when you do well, and involve others in your efforts.

Perhaps it is time to shift our thinking from holding on to letting go.  In our letting go, we create an emptiness, a space in which new ideas, new objects and new behaviors can grow and flourish. We encourage a flow and exchange of energy.