By Schuyler Corrigan

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August 15, 2024

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Parenting can be very difficult, especially when small bodies have big emotions. You do your best to keep your cool, but even the best-meaning parents sometimes run into hills that seem too big to climb. These feelings come from several different places. Fears for your child, frustration, being overwhelmed, loss, guilt, confusion, lack of sleep, and even fear for yourself are all concerns plaguing a parent – all while trying to help your child learn, grow, and regulate their emotions. The inner pressures and struggles can feel like too much to bear. Luckily, there are some things that can help. Statistics show that mindfulness helps parents not only manage their own emotions but those of their children (Waters, 2016). 

 

Mindfulness is a mental state that results from focusing one’s awareness on the present moment. It involves acknowledging and accepting one’s thoughts and feelings. Here are some ideas for practicing mindfulness and being more mindful and present. 

 

NAP Stress Technique

Use the NAP acronym to help bring awareness to your internal world. 

• Notice: take a moment to notice what sensations you are experiencing. Do you have tension in your body? Is your breathing rapid or slow? What emotions are you feeling?
• Allow: without judgment or trying to change anything, allow yourself to be as you are. 
• Pass: rest in this moment and allow the emotions to pass. 

 

54321 Grounding Technique

This common technique is utilized for many concerns, including anxiety and PTSD. It helps ground you in the moment by reconnecting with your body and your five senses.

• Five things you can see: name 5 things you can see, whether it is close to you or far away.
• Four things you can feel: name 4 things you can feel, such as wind, feet in shoes, fabric of clothes on your skin, etc.
• Three things you can hear: name 3 things you can hear, such as birds, the AC, running water, wind, etc.
• Two things you can smell: name 2 things you can smell. If you can’t smell anything, try walking around and noticing any smells you encounter. If you can’t smell anything, name two smells that you like.
• One thing you can taste: Name one thing you think you can taste, such as the aftertaste of lunch, coffee, gum, etc. You can even put something like a mint in your mouth or drink a sip of tea for this activity. 

 

Box Breathing Technique

For this technique

• Breathe in for 5 counts.
• Then, hold your breath for 5 counts. 
• Then, exhale for 5 counts. 
• Then, hold your breath for 5 counts. 
• Repeat this several times. 

• This helps to regulate your breathing and calm the nervous system. 

 

Mindfulness with Your Children (Parlakian, 2024)

• • Active Listening: listen to your child with your full attention. A few minutes a day of undivided attention and actively listening to your child can promote a sense of connection and unity between you and your child. Try turning off screens, putting down your phone, or pausing a task to listen to your child fully. 

• COAL Technique

• • Curiosity: explore your child with curiosity and without judgment. With a soft gaze, notice how your child plays, moves, and thinks. What are they expressing?
  • Openness: when your child initiates a connection with you, receive them with openness. A connection can be engaging you in play, asking questions, or even hugging you.
  • Acceptance: accept the interaction your child gives without judgment and allow the interaction to change as your child moves from activity to activity.
  • Love: express love for your child!

 

Basic techniques can help you learn to regulate your emotions and nervous system and connect with your child. Parenting is hard; you are not alone. Call to schedule an appointment for more support. 

 

Read more: Mindfulness in Young Kids

 

Read more: Mindfulness to Reduce Stress

 

Read more: Tips for Creating Wellness Habits with Children

 

Waters, L. (2016). The relationship between child stress, child mindfulness and parent mindfulness. Psychology, 7(01), 40.

Abblett, Mitch. “A Mindfulness Practice for Stressed-out Parents.” Mindful, 15 Nov. 2023, www.mindful.org/when-parenting-gets-tough/. 

Parlakian, Rebecca, et al. “Mindfulness for Parents.” ZERO TO THREE, 3 Apr. 2024, www.zerotothree.org/resource/mindfulness-for-parents/.